I’ve found myself in many an airport this year, and I’ve realised something; it doesn’t matter what country you’re in, there are five types of people you will always spot roaming around the departure lounge…
Completely nonplussed by the whole airport experience, there’s always one guy in a suit tapping away on a laptop as if his life depended on it – the same guy who will make lots of incredibly important phone calls, before strolling off with his briefcase in hand. Probably likely that he has found the only available plug socket in the airport. Probably unlikely that he will be found having a pre-flight pint in Spoons.
The Stressed Parent
Because as if it wasn’t stressful enough going through security and worrying that you’ve accidentally stowed three bags of drugs, some sort of weapon and a live crab in your hand luggage, it’s not hard to spot the mums and dads trying to calm their excitable/scared/tired kids with mixed success. It’s also not hard to spot the parents who are chasing their children’s cute little ladybird wheel-along case when they’ve sent it flying over some poor old woman’s feet.
The Late One (aka me)
There’s always one, isn’t there? Whether it’s because there had been an accident on the motorway and it took almost four hours to get to the airport which is only 70 miles away (me), you’ve lost track of time whilst having the pre-flight pint (me) or you’ve left your handbag/passport in the toilet and the police are now involved (again, me) someone running through hauling a case behind them with flailing arms isn’t an uncommon sight. Well, that is assuming the late person can get past the giant group of people walking at a snails pace, stretching from one side of the corridor to the other.
The Duty Free Lover
For some reason, people get to an airport and suddenly decide they need three perfumes and five bottles of whiskey – often forgetting that it’s not always cheaper than you can get in your local Tesco, and it’s not gonna fit in your hand luggage on the way home. £8 for a box of Lindor? Not even worth it. Sneakily using the perfume samples as a replacement for the bottle you accidentally left at home? Completely acceptable.
The Bride To Be
Ah the hen do! The businessman’s nemesis – this airport stereotype is almost always heard before seen. Unless, of course, the hens are strutting around in sparkly cowboy hats with neon t-shirts saying “Jo’s Hoes: Maga 2k17”. I must say though, I have total respect for anyone who can organise a group of ten girls to be in the same place at the same time with the right documents and matching feather boas. I would love to see the WhatsApp group chat for that one, and I hope Jo is very happy in her new married life…